Support your sex life with Ayurvedic diet, lifestyle and herbs.

According to Ayurveda, the ‘science of life’ that developed in India well over 5000 years ago, our libido can be defined as the desire for pleasure and satisfaction. It stems from the most subtle male and female reproductive tissues. This blog will cover how Ayurveda recognises everyone's sex drive is different and there's no such thing as a ‘normal’ libido. As well as diet, lifestyle and herb tips to support. If you're single, do read on as everything below is also relevant for your desire for pleasure and satisfaction, whether you've a partner or not...

Ayurveda views that our libido can vary with our dosha (Ayurvedic mind-body type) along these guidelines:

• Vata types have an erratic sexual appetite and are quickly aroused. Due to their variable and easily depleted energy levels, sexual activity is recommended every other week for them to stay in balance.

• Pitta types have a passionate sexual appetite and strong desire but can energetically burn out quickly – if they’re not mindful. Once a week is recommended for them, especially if they are working hard.

• Kapha types have a steady, regular appetite and good stamina. As they naturally have more energy, they can enjoy more frequent sex with two to three times per week.

It can really help to understand your partner's dosha as well as your own. So see the link under Resources for more on this, and a great Ayurveda book on relationships.

Loss of libido is a common problem that affects many men and women at some point.

You don’t need to have a partner to experience its effects either, as it can affect the desire to masturbate.

Having desire, getting aroused, or having an orgasm is difficult when your mind is at work, preoccupied with strained relationships, or worrying about financial difficulties or other sources of stress.  Sex necessitates a surrendering to the moment which sometimes just isn’t compatible with busy lifestyles. If we don’t allow our body and mind time to recuperate from these periods of stress, then we risk becoming completely exhausted and unable to find the energy to complete simple daily tasks. Or enjoy sex. Additionally, when there is weakness or debility in the reproductive tissue, libido will be low. A reduced sex drive is not an inevitable part of ageing, but it's also something many men and women experience as they get older. Loss of sex drive can also be a sign of an underlying medical issue, such as reduced hormone levels, so it’s worth speaking to a health practitioner if you are worried. So, reducing levels of stress and strengthening the reproductive organs are key approaches to supporting sexual desire.

Ayurvedic diet suggestions to support your libido

Ayurveda believes that a lot of our vital energy (known as ojas) is used up during orgasm. Foods which are easily digestible and nourishing to all the tissues will promote the formation of ojas. Likewise, a good digestive fire will enable ojas to be formed. Anything that upsets our digestion will reduce the production of ojas.

• Favour foods that nourish our vital energy each day, such as ghee, almonds, coconut water, dates, honey and milk (non homogenised organic cow’s, goat or almond preferred). See recipe below.

• Eat healthy fats which help with the production of hormones. Go for olive oil, flax seed oil, hemp seed oil, butter, coconut oil, avocado oil and oily fish which is rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

• Make dinner your smallest meal for most days of the week and avoid eating after 7pm to give time to digest the meal fully. This ensures your digestive process doesn’t disturb you sleep (or sex life).

To replenish your energy after sex/ masturbation or if you generally need some deep nourishment, try this nourishing Ayurvedic recipe, with helpful herbs (explained in next section):

• A cup of organic milk of your choice

• 2 teaspoons ground almonds

• 2 (gently crushed/split) cardamom pod

• 5 saffron strands

• 1 pinch each of turmeric and nutmeg

• 1/2 teaspoon each of ashwagandha and shatavari powder (or open a capsule)

To make: Warm the milk, then add the rest of the ingredients. Pour into a cup and stir in some honey. The ground almond sinks to the bottom, so stir before drinking.

Lifestyle suggestions

“Gentle, soothing and loving, massage is a fantastic way to become intimately acquainted. A central part of Ayurvedic living, it can be practised by anyone.” Sebastian Pole, A Pukka Life

• Adapt your sexual activity to the seasons. Ayurveda sees that the body is at its prime during winter, so you can indulge in pleasurable acts much more often if you have enough vital energy. In spring and autumn, stamina is more moderate, so sexual frequency should be less frequent. In the heat of summer, our strength is seen as at its lowest. This makes sense in that sex is seen as a heating activity in Ayurveda, with ‘like increasing like’.

• Take regular time out, even if it’s just 15 minutes to switch yourself off from screens and relax. Our vital energy is nourished by feelings of love, contentment and calm so finding daily ways to deal with stress is key. This is especially true for women as the body’s resources that should be used for making sex hormones are diverted towards making stress hormones (adrenalin and cortisol).

• Getting enough sleep is also key with research showing that shorter sleep duration and insomnia were both associated with decreased sexual function. Another study suggested that longer sleep duration was correlated with greater sexual desire the next day among women. It goes without saying it helps to use your bedroom for two things only - sleeping and sex.

• Exercise both increases libido and reduce stress. It’s important to find a way to move that feels right for you. If exercise is done outside, there is the added benefit of connecting with nature too.

• Keep laughing. Laughter really is one of the best medicines. It can decrease stress and cortisol levels and improve your mood. Plus, a good sense of humour is very attractive.

Not in the mood for sex, but still craving connection? Use warm sesame or coconut oil to give each other either a full-body or foot massage. Ayurveda places great emphasis on regular massage. Indeed the Sanskrit word ‘sneha’ is translated as both ‘oil’ and ‘love’ as it is believed the effects of a good massage are akin to the feeling of being saturated with love! Massage is also effective in reducing anxiety and stress. 

Helpful herbs to support your sex life:

Ashwagandha root has been used as a traditional rejuvenating tonic for thousands of years. Translated as ‘the strength of a horse or stallion’, its name also gives a clue to its traditional use as an aphrodisiac. It has also been clinically shown to supports women achieving sexual arousal and orgasm. As an adaptogen, it helps us deal with stress, nourishes the nervous system in both men and women and restores harmony.

Shatavari revered as primarily a ‘women’s’ herb and can be translated as ‘the woman who has 100 husbands’ because of its affinity for strengthening the female reproductive system and boosting libido. It is a naturally nourishing, cooling and moistening herb that provides the required nourishment and strength to support women at all stages of life. As an adaptogen (like ashwagandha), it has a regulating effect throughout the body, modulating the harmful effects of stress.

Rose is traditionally used to rejuvenate the reproductive system with its sweet, cooling properties. Rose petals and rose essential oil are seen as having an affinity for the heart and have a long traditional use for lifting the spirits. It is seen as being able to open the heart chakra, increasing patience, compassion and love. The calming effect on the emotions and the heart are complemented by the aphrodisiac effect of this powerful plant.

No matter how often you get it on, you can use Ayurveda’s timeless wisdom to enhance your sex life and to build your vital energy. The key advice is to approach sex as a form of nourishment and opportunity for a deep connection with your partner. As Dr Vasant Lad writes in his ‘Fundamentals of Ayurveda’, “When two people truly love each other and within that loving relationship they make love with awareness, they can transform ‘ojas’ into profound bliss.”

Research cited:

• What's your dosha baby, by Linda Coffee- very helpful guide to doshas and relationships

• Find out your dosha using this easy dosha quiz over at The Ayurveda Academy

• Nrinderpal K, Junaid N, Raman B. (2013) A review on pharmacological profile of Withania somnifera (ashwagandha). Res Rev J Bot Sci 2(4): 6-14

• Singh R. 2015. Asparagus racemosus: A review on its phytochemical and therapeutic potential. Nat Prod Res 30: 1896-1908